A bedtime routine is a series of activities children follow every evening to prepare for sleep. By consistently repeating the same steps, you will create a predictable pattern that feels safe and comfortable for your little one. Choose the appropriate activities for a smooth transition from the excitement of the day to a relaxed, peaceful state.
In this article, I will outline seven easy steps to help you create a well-structured routine that your child will look forward to, rather than resisting.
Step 1: Decide What Time You Want Your Bedtime Routine to End
Start by deciding what time you want your child to wake up.
Then, estimate how many hours of sleep your child needs. The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, recommend between 10-13 hours of sleep for ages 3-5 and 9-12 hours of sleep for ages 5-7.
These estimates will help you calculate when your child needs to be in bed with the lights out. Allow for a little extra time in your schedule, since they may have difficulty falling asleep right away.
During the next few days, observe whether this bedtime is working. A well-rested child will usually wake up on their own in the morning. If you find you’re consistently having to wake them up—especially if they struggle to get up—they may need more sleep. In that case, try moving their bedtime a little earlier until you find a time that works well.
Step 2: Decide Which Activities to Include in Your Bedtime Routine
Choose a few activities that will help your child transition to a more relaxed state. Here are some suggestions.
Burning Off Excess Energy
A few minutes of energetic physical activity can help release stress and excitement. Try activities like roughhousing, dancing, or anything that makes your child laugh and gets their heart rate up. However, avoid doing these too close to bedtime, as they might be too exciting and make it harder to wind down.
Family Dinner
If possible, have a family dinner where everyone can enjoy relaxed, positive conversation. This creates good associations with mealtime and offers a moment for the family to come together. Keep the conversation light and fun. If your family schedule doesn’t allow for a family dinner, you can sit with your child while they eat and engage in conversation.
Bath, Brushing Teeth, and Pajamas
Taking a warm bath or shower can help your child relax and signal that bedtime is approaching. However, not all children find baths calming. If your child becomes more energized after bath time, consider doing this earlier in the evening. You may also add brushing teeth and putting on pajamas to their routine, to remind them what they need to do.
Relaxation Practices
Choose one or more relaxation practices, like gratitude practice, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), reading, oral storytelling, or progressive muscle relaxation. These activities are great for easing any lingering anxiety, fears, or excitement from the day.
You can learn more about these techniques here:
5 Enjoyable Bedtime Practices to Help Your Child Fall Asleep
Tidying Up
An uncluttered environment facilitates relaxation, so consider allocating a few minutes for putting away toys. Keep it easy and fun because creating any pressure before sleep will be counter-productive.
As an added bonus, you will help your little one develop organizational skills.
Prepare for Next Day
When I added this step to my son’s bedtime routine, I was surprised at how much more relaxed our mornings became. Taking out his clothes for the next day and making sure his school backpack is ready, seems to be an easy task in the evening, but it somehow becomes a struggle in the morning. I’m not entirely sure why that happens, but it does! 🙂
Step 3: Decide the Sequence of Activities
After choosing the activities you want to include, it’s time to determine the sequence. For example, do you want them to have dinner before taking a bath, or the other way around?
As much as possible, arrange the routine so the most relaxing activities come closer to bedtime.
Step 4: Estimate How Long Each Activity Will Take
Estimate how long you expect each activity to last and write down the times.
Step 5: Calculate the Total Duration of the Bedtime Routine
Add up the times for all the activities to estimate the total length of your routine.
Step 6: Set the Start Time for the Bedtime Routine
Based on your total routine time and your desired lights-off time, calculate when you need to start the routine.
Step 7: Review and Adjust as Needed
After a few days of following your new routine, observe how well it’s working for your family. Adjust the timing, order, or swap activities to create a rhythm that helps your child relax and wind down for bed.
Tip #1: Involve Your Child in the Process
Talk to your child about the bedtime routine and explain what you want to achieve. Ask for input on how each activity feels—what they enjoy and where they are struggling. Work together to make adjustments and improve.
Offer choices wherever you can, like letting them pick their pajamas or their bedtime story.
You can create a visual chart with images and hang it somewhere easy for them to see. This gives them a sense of control and independence and invites their cooperation.
Tip #2: Always End the Evening Routine with Affirmations and Hugs
As you finish the routine, take a few moments for affirmations and hugs. Snuggle with your child, and remind them that you’re always there. Reassure them that you’ll see them in the morning.
Check if they need anything—a trip to the bathroom, water, or their favorite toy, especially if your little one has the habit of asking for things after you have left the room.
My personal Experience
I used to think routines were a waste of time. I believed they restricted my freedom and couldn’t possibly offer any real-life benefits. But I was wrong.
Once we established a bedtime routine, my son adapted beautifully. He started getting through the earlier steps quickly, eager to get to the final, storytelling step he enjoyed.
Before, he’d resist sleep by ramping up his energy because he associated feeling sleepy with something he didn’t want to do. But when storytelling became part of the routine, bedtime turned into something exciting and fun rather than something to avoid.
Conclusion
By following the steps above, you can create a bedtime routine that works for you and your child. Choose activities like relaxation techniques, family connection, or even preparing for the next day. End the day with affirmations and hugs, so your child feels safe and ready for sleep.
Involve your child in the process to give them a sense of ownership and encourage cooperation. With these strategies, you’re laying the foundation for peaceful nights and more energized, happier mornings.
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